Väljavõte ühest raamatust:

/---/

"Why are you are?"

"To make sure you know why you're here, David... to begin with, at least. So tell me: why are you here?"

"I don't know what you're–"

"Oh please," the man with the radio said. His mirror shades flashed in the sun. "If you don't, you're in deep shit. Why are you on earth? Why did God make you?"

David looked at him in consternation.

"Come on, come on," the man said impatiently. "These are easy questions. Why did God make you? Why did God make me? Why did God make anyone?"

"To love and serve Him," David said slowly.

"Okay, good. It's a start, anyway. And what is God? What is your experience of the nature of God?"

"I don't want to say." David looked down at his hands, then up at the grave, intent man - the strangely familiar man - in the sunglasses. "I'm scared I'll get in dutch." He hesitated, then dragged out what he was really afraid of: "I'm scared you're God."

The man uttered a short, rueful laugh. "In a way that's pretty funny, but never mind. Let's stay focused here. What do you know of the nature of God, David? What is your experience?"

With the greatest reluctance, David said: "God is cruel."

He looked down at his hands again and counted slowly to five. When he had reached it and still hadn't been fried by a lightning-bolt, he looked up again. The man in the jeans and tee-shirt was still grave and intent, but David saw no anger in him.

"That's right, God is cruel. We slow down, the mummy always catches us in the end, and God is cruel. Why is God cruel, David?"

For a moment, he didn't answer, and then something Reverend Martin had said came to him - the TV in the corner had been broadcasting a soundless spring training baseball game that day.

"God's cruelty is refining," he said.

"We're the mine and God is the miner?"

"Well–"

"And all cruelty is good? God is good and cruelty is good?"

"No, hardly any of it's good," David said. For a single horrified second he saw Pie, dangling from the hook on the wall, Pie who walked around ants on the sidewalk because she didn't want to hurt them.

"What is cruelty done for evil?"

"Malice. Who are you, sir?"

"Never mind. Who is the father of the malice?"

"The devil... or maybe those other gods my mother talked about."

"Never mind can tah and can tak, at least for now. We have bigger fish to fry, so pay attention. What is faith?"

That one was easy. "The substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

"Yeah. And what is the spiritual state of the faithful?"

"Um... love and acceptance, I think."

"And what is the opposite of faith?"

That was tougher – a real hairball, in fact. Like one of those damned reading achievement tests. Pick a, b, c, or d. Except here you didn't even get the choices. "Disbelief?" he ventured.

"No. Not disbelief, but unbelief. The first is natural, the second wilful. And when one is in unbelief, David, what is one's spiritual state?"

He thought about it, then shook his head. "I don't know."

"Yes, you do."

He thought about it and realized he did. "The spiritual state of unbelief is desperation."

/---/

Mõtte lõpetuseks sobib hästi tsitaat Belle & Sebastiani laulust "If You Find Yourself Caught in Love":

If you find yourself caught in love
Say a prayer to the man above
You should thank him for every day you pass
Thank him for saving your sorry ass

*** Pühendusega Märdikule.